What three words would you use to describe your connection to sensuality and sex?
If any of these fall into your list (but you really wish they didn’t), I invite you to read on…
Before we go any further, I want you to know that I hear you.
I was in the same place 4 years ago. After 8 years of marriage, two children, work, a house renovation, and a nervous system swinging between flight and freeze, my sex life had become boring, formulaic and another thing to add to my ‘to-do’ list.
In fact, it was one of the reasons why I decided to work with a Feminine Embodiment Coach myself.
I was dried out, brittle, and stuck in my masculine energy – constantly doing, pushing, striving, and living an extremely busy, high-stress life with absolutely no time for pleasure, playfulness and ease.
As a result, I was disconnected from my own body and this played out in the intimacy I was available for in my marriage.
So, what is Embodied Sensual Connection?
Embodied sensual intimacy is the art of inhabiting more of your feminine energy. It’s opening to the pleasurable sensations, emotions and thoughts in your body, and having the freedom to explore them without any guilt or shame.
It’s about experiencing aliveness, flow and connection with yourself FIRST and then, when you’re ready, your partner.
It’s the ability to open and surrender.
If this sounds unattainable or scary, I understand.
The idea of surrender can be counter intuitive when you’re used to being in control mode. When you live in your productive masculine and get stuck in overdrive and override, your body constantly produces stress hormones. When your body is busy producing stress hormones it literally can’t produce the sex hormones needed to slow down, relax and open up.
So, how can you use embodiment to explore and expand your sensuality and sexuality?
I invite my clients to explore their own sensuality FIRST. This may be the first time they’ve done this, or something that’s become a somewhat neglected and forgotten art.
Connecting with and exploring your own body, in both sexual and non-sexual ways helps you understand what brings you pleasure, relaxes you, and gets the oxytocin flowing.
In a non-sexual context this could look like inviting more pleasure into your life to down regulate your nervous system. Can you…
Spend more time resting?
Slow dancing with yourself?
Stretch, arch, move your hips in non-linear, body led movements that feel natural and alive?
Connect more to nature?
Say YES to more fun?
Open up to moments of playfulness and spontaneity?
Explore what emotional connection you need to feel safe, relaxed and able to surrender?
In a sexual context this could look like:
Exploring how and where you like to be touched on your body – light strokes or firm massage. Does it feel good to touch your neck, your inner thighs, your arms, hands, feet, breasts, buttocks, stomach?
Allowing images and fantasies to play out in your mind.
Experimenting with sensual stimulation and what turns you on…is it touch, scent, sight, taste or sound?
Becoming more intimate with your vulva without orgasm being the sole goal! Can you be present with yourself and slowly explore the parts of your vulva with curiosity, compassion and zero agenda, other than what feels pleasurable?
By connecting with your body and the different sensations, emotions and openings you’re capable of experiencing, you being to take ownership of your own pleasure, which in turn invites deeper intimacy with your chosen partner.
Your body is capable of immense pleasure and wondrous sensation.
When you discover and embody this power, you’re more empowered to communicate your desires and create deep, fulfilling connections.