I’ve been hiding away recently, and there’s been a few reasons for this. A couple of incredible women have just started their coaching journey with me, and supporting them is my top priority. I’ve also enjoyed a wonderfully nourishing holiday with close friends.
However, my primary reason was the strong sensations in my body reminding me once again to get intimate with the patriarchal programming in my body.
To unravel the socially conditioned voice that was telling me to ‘push on’, ‘stay visible’, ‘produce more’, and ‘feel less.’
I could sense myself getting stuck in my masculine energy of striving, controlling, and perfecting, and neglecting the magic that I embody and teach. The release, surrender and nurture of the feminine.
The signals in my body looked like aches and clenching, in particular in my shoulders, jaw, and hips. I noticed I was overriding my exhaustion, failing to celebrate my achievements, and starting to get short tempered and resentful with my family.
It was this complex network of thoughts, emotions and sensations that told me I needed to slow the f*ck down. That my pace was starting to fry my nervous system, leaving me feeling unsafe and defaulting to unhelpful behaviours and ways of thinking.
So slow down I did!
I took a step back from the proactive tasks in my business and enjoyed my holiday with zero emails or social media interaction.
I tended to my body through juicy feminine embodiment practices and gentle jogs.
I immersed myself in a breath-taking fiction book and enjoyed indulgent sex with my husband during the middle of the day!
Every time something felt tense or started to trigger me, I would simply pause, take a breath, and ask my heart a very simple but super powerful question.
“Can I be absolutely sure this is true?”
When I asked myself, “is it absolutely true that my business will dip if I stop being visible?’ – the answer was no.
When I asked myself “is it absolutely true that my family will be angry if I don’t call them every day whilst I’m away?” – the answer was no.
When I asked myself “can I be absolutely sure I’ll be a lesser wife/mother if the bathroom stays grotty for another day or two?” – the answer was no.
When I asked myself “can I be absolutely sure that I’ve been married too long to have indulgent sex at lunch time?” – the answer was definitely no!
We’re all so good at seeing what we want to see, and what we see is coloured by the lens that we’re conditioned to see through. We perceive the world through the social norms we hold and the memes that are actively playing in our being.
It’s only when we begin to slow down and explore these covert beliefs at an embodied level, that we can access the deeper truths beneath them.
In my case the deeper truth was a desire to recognise and honour the cyclical nature of life that naturally flows between go and stop, push and rest, contraction and expansion.
Honouring this truth look like giving myself full permission to rest without guilt, without fear of being left behind, and without seeing myself as lazy or weak.
It looked like embracing what I needed in the moment and trusting my natural rhythms would let me know when it was time to re-emerge, step forward and begin the next turn of the circle.
So my invitation to you – when you start to sense your conditioning making the decisions – is to ask yourself this simple question,
“Can I be absolutely sure this is true?” and then lean back and witness the magic of your truth unfold.