There is so much shifting in the world right now, on so many different levels, that it’s easy to feel overwhelmed, helpless and inadequate. This week we look at the things you can control, the differences you can make in your life (your Queendom), so that you can start seeing the changes within you, which eventually emulate out into the world around you.
There is so much happening and shifting in the world right now, and it’s happening on so many different levels – political, societal, environmental, humanitarian, individual. On top of the personal situations that we’re navigate on a daily basis, we’re drowning in a sea of ‘clickable’ information with headlines that fill us with despair, sorrow and devastation. This all culminates in an existence in which, we feel helpless and inadequate.
Our nervous systems are overwhelmed by stimuli, and to protect ourselves, we default to numbing behaviours that divert our attention elsewhere. To sugar, shopping, alcohol, sex, over-exercising, Netflix or working crazy hours. We hand over our agency of power because it feels easier than figuring out how we can manifest change and make a difference both on a micro and macro level.
The definition of numbness is ‘deprived of the ability to move, unable to take action, deficient in emotion or feeling’. It’s the ‘meh’ or ‘blah’ that many women speak about when they sum up how they’re feeling. It’s also something that feels easy to justify and explain away both within ourselves and others, with phrases like, “It’s not my fault or your fault…”, “I know this has happened but let’s put it in a box and leave it there” or “you’re entitled to so much more”. All these phrases absolve us from taking responsibility by blaming others or simply ignoring the situation that’s right in front of you.
And yet, there is so much we can control if we make the decision to take responsibility for our own Queendom, which is my way of saying the zones in your life that you can influence and make a difference within. The zones where you can take back power and say, ‘I will no longer tolerate this from happening in my life’.
For me these zones involved interactions with my partner, which at the time were dull and functional, it was admitting that I no longer wanted to run my business, it was acknowledging the disgusting way I spoke to myself on a daily basis. It was admitting the way I martyred myself to other and got pissed off when I received nothing back. It was understanding the pain, grief and loss I felt as a result of my hysterectomy. Something I felt I had no right to grieve over because the operation was my choice.
I had a lot of zones that I could take ownership and responsibility for!
So, what does take control of your Queendom, or zones actually look like? For me it means being willing to feel into these situations, allowing yourself to witness, acknowledge, and process them in your body. It means understanding that change comes from liberating these situations and associated emotions from your body with compassion, understanding and zero judgement. It’s about connecting into your body and asking her, what would she have you know, what would she have you do, to move into a place of acceptance and love, for everything that makes you, you, that makes you fully human?
This isn’t the easy way out!
I could tell you to go home and practise positive affirmations in your mirror about how wonderful you are and how the life of your dreams is just. Unfortunately, no matter how wonderful you are, these affirmations are just insincere pacifications if you don’t truly feel them in your body.
I understand that it’s hard. It’s hard to admit full responsibility, to keep trying, to understand others instead of blaming them, to sit in your own shadows and strive for your future self instead of what gives you that instant dopamine hit of gratification. But sometimes, doing what’s hard, is the very thing that makes you feel better. It’s the very thing that puts the spectre back into your hands and returns your personal power.
When we operate from this place of personal sovereignty, we have more depth, space and consideration for how we can make a difference at a community, country and global level. We can look at things from the perspective of shared humanity, shared experience and inter connectiveness that is woven across the energy of the planet.
If you are a midlife women ready to reign in life and love so that you can live a life of fulfilment and adventure, I warmly invite you to book in for a free discovery call to explore how I can help you walk your path.